Rev. Christine Dudley

 

Chancel Drama

God: Christine Dudley
St. Francis: Kevin MacAskill

 

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on in Canada? What happened to the dandelions, the violets, the thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Why those plants grow in all kinds of soil, withstand drought, and multiply with abandon. The nectar from their long-lasting blossoms attracts songbirds and butterflies and honey bees. I expected to see a vast garden of colours and beauty by now. But all I see are little green rectangles!

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, God. They're called "Urbanites". You see, they started calling your flowers weeds, and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But grass is so boring! It's not colourful, it doesn't attract butterflies and bees, only grubs and sod-worms. It's temperamental with temperatures and takes a lot of care. Do these Urbanites really want all that grass around?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, God. They go to great pains to grow it and to keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing the grass and poisoning any other plant that appears on the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warmer weather probably make the grass grow really fast! I guess that makes the Urbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Not really, God. You see, as soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week!

GOD: They cut it??? Is it a cash crop? Do they gather it in like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: No, just the opposite! They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight! They fertilize the grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut if off and throw it away. I

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, you've got it, God.

GOD: Hmmmm. Well, these Urbanites must be glad when the smaller amounts of rain and the extra summer heat slows down the growth, and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: Well, you're not going to believe this, God, but when the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to cut it and pay to throw it away!!

GOD: This is hard to believe! Well, at least they keep my trees around. Now trees are a true stroke of genius, aren't they? The leaves give beauty and shade in the summer, and in the autumn they fall to the ground and provide a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the smaller bushes and plants. And as they rot, they provide compost to enhance the soil. It's all a wonderful, natural circle of life!

ST. FRANCIS: Well, God, maybe you'd better sit down for this one. You see, Urbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: You're right, I can't believe this! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree-roots in the winter, and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: Well, after they throw away the leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: This mulch, stuff; where do they get it?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make mulch!

GOD: Enough! Enough! I've heard about all I can take about the ways of Urbanites. How about some relaxation; have you a movie you might suggest?

ST. FRANCIS: How about DUMB AND DUMBER; it's a real stupid move about...

GOD: Never mind. I think I just heard the entire story!!!

Source Unknown